Tuesday, June 28, 2011

In which one of life's most pressing questions is answered

Anyone who has watched Friends has surely wondered, "Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?" If somehow you don't know what I mean, click here.

I have, however, hit upon the answer to this most pressing of questions: Premium Royal canned catfood. Charlie *LOVES* it. Now, Charlie is a spoiled critter - she's come a long way from the feral kitten scrounging in trash heaps and begging chicken scraps from the local fried chicken joint that she once was. She has decided that canned tuna, canned Whiskas, and even certain Fancy Feast varieties are beneath her oh-so-refined palate. She will eat Whiskas dry food, but no other dry brands, and only if canned food hasn't been forthcoming for at least a day and a half. But Premium Royal? She'll knock the can out of my hand and shove her head right on in. Waiting to be served? Nonsense! Not when there's Premium Royal around. Check it:

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This is what kitty crack looks like, apparently.

Unfortunately, Premium Royal might be pleasant for Charlie going in, but it is distinctly unpleasant for me coming out. I live in a pretty small apartment... but I also purchase quality cat litter. Until the arrival of Premium Royal into our lives, litter box smells were not an issue. But now? Ohmygod. I have to febreeze the entire house every time she goes. I can't imagine anything that produces such noxious shit (in the literal sense) could possibly be good for her. I've limited her to one serving a day (leading to numerous recriminating glances), but still! This is probably far more than you wanted to know.

10 comments:

Fred Kilgallin said...

She's a cat. Feed her what makes your life easy. If she'll eat something that doesn't foul the air, then that's what she gets. It's OK to want what you want when it doesn't do anyone else harm. In fact, as you alluded, it might even be good for her. I realize that I have a markedly different attitude towards pets than perhaps most pet-owners have (i.e., they're not people, don't ever treat them like they are, ever), but the cat won't mind not getting the food that makes you nauseous. Really. It won't.

Anonymity said...

Hahaha... you obviously haven't met Charlie :-) When I went to Japan, I left out plenty of dry food... but it wasn't Whiskas, it was a Korean brand. I don't think she ate ANY the entire time I was gone. The bowl was full and the litter box was empty when I returned.

I must say I'm confused as to why this stuff makes her poop so stinky... it's not giving her diarrhea. Her poop looks solid and normal... just stinky.

Anonymous said...

Cats are people too!

Thanks for sharing.
Ben

Anonymous said...

Just be glad she's not leaving a trail around the house like my crew.
Mom

G said...

I'm in the eat-what-i-give-you-or-starve camp.

My dog will hold out for days on dry food, but eventually she'll get hungry enough to eat it.

I love animals, too, but I agree with Fred that even the best pet is not a person. I'll certainly never defer to my dog when I don't give into my human child's every whim :)

Anonymity said...

I wouldn't spoil a child, as I wouldn't want him/her to grow up feeling entitled. A child becomes an adult, a cat is always a cat. And it makes me feel good to know that Charlie is happy.

G said...

Fair enough.

I suppose it's just my nature to be the alpha figure in my house.

Also, while I'm not as thrifty as you when in general, I go all "But there are people in the world starving!" when it comes to extreme animal spoiling.

I could certainly afford to keep up my monthly contributions to Save The Children and feed S premium canned dog food to her heart's content, but eh. I just cant do it.

Mario said...

She might not be accustomed to the food, that's all. When you have multiple cats, it's easier to control their portions when you open a can of food you haven't served them before. But, if you have one cat, what are you going to do?

Anonymity said...

The first time she was offered pink-label Fancy Feast, she sniffed it, gave me a look of disgust, then walked across the room and began licking her ass. She's been eating the Premium Royal for a while now, and hasn't gotten tired of it.

Anonymity said...

Crisis! (Well... not really. Not for me anyway.) Someone bought all the Premium Royal from the only store in the neighborhood that sells it (except for the "special hairball formula" which we definitely don't need...)