Rocky Horror! Halloween! Grammar! The Inhumane Society!

It's been a busy couple of weeks around here, mainly because it was Halloween season - which, in my opinion, is the best time of the year. This year I was able to rock three different costumes, which made me incredibly happy. I do love a good opportunity to dress up.

On Friday, October 25th, a group of us went to go see the Rocky Horror Picture Show film and interactive performance put on by The Rich Weirdoes. 

Security made M. take off his "FBI" jacket, because "someone might think he was a real agent." Um, OK. The show itself was pretty fantastic though. I've seen RHPS put on in smaller venues, but this was definitely the largest and most interactive version I've ever been to.

Saturday one of my classmates threw a kickass Halloween party.

I went as a flapper.

Mr. Green and Miss Scarlet from Clue, if you were wondering.

And then of course, I taught class on Thursday dressed as a Dalek. As you do. I'd say about half of my students knew what I was immediately. The others were like, "What's a Dalek?"

ED-U-CATE!

Thursday I also finished up my fifth and final lesson to my students on teaching English grammar to EFL/ESL students. Yes, we spent five days on grammar. You want someone to talk for six and a half hours (thirteen if you consider that I teach two sections) on English grammar, I am apparently your girl. The PowerPoint by itself isn't quite as great. For one thing, SlideShare has mucked up my formatting, and you can't see my animations. Plus, as I've mentioned before, I do NOT write every word I say on my slides - I hate it when teachers do that. As a result, reading the slides won't give you as much information as sitting through my class would have. However, if you're an EFL/ESL teacher new to teaching grammar, it should give you some useful pointers.

And lastly, due to the combination of some really horrific animal-shelter related news that I read on Facebook and all these people posting about NaNoWriMo, I've become inspired to get back to work on The Inhumane Society. I started by editing the existing 140 pages - you can read the edited first part here - and by finally picking up where I left off. Once you're all caught up, you can read the latest installment of The Inhumane Society here.

Oh, and you know I'm still posting about my summer's adventures over at Cat Lady in Kyrgyzstan, right?

If You Must Choose, Choose Wisely

I teach three ESL classes in the mornings, Monday through Thursday at a private language school. Every day, when I’m teaching my second class of the day, this is what I think of:

Only I wasn’t the one who chose poorly, and neither were my students. The poor choice was made by the previous teacher, who also happens to be the person in charge of choosing textbooks at this joint.

Choosing a text for an ESL class is different from choosing one for your middle school or high school language arts class. You need to take into account the level of language of your students, their reasons for studying English, and whether or not the text will be useful to them in any way. It also doesn’t hurt to choose something that they might find interesting. You should also keep in mind that foreign language skill level does not in any way equate to US school system grade level. Just because you read a specific book in the eighth grade does not mean that intermediate level ESL students – whose level-appropriate grammar text has them learning how to form sentences using “used to” while learning vocabulary such as bicycle, summer camp, subway, and quiet – could gain anything from attempting to read this book. I’m all for challenging my students. I love the concept of i+1 – giving students content that is just a little above their current level – but there’s a difference between challenging your students and, well, torturing them.

The words that I listed above (bicycle, summer camp, subway, and quiet) all come from the grammar-text that my intermediate level students in my second class are using in their grammar class. It’s pretty spot on level-wise. It might not be i+1 (it’s a little more like “just i”), and it certainly isn’t interesting, but it contains incredibly useful vocabulary and useful grammar that will be, well, useful to new immigrants to the United States. I wish I taught from that text book.

Instead, I’m teaching Call of the Wild, by Jack London. Not an ESL version of Call of the Wild, but the original. Like I said, this was not my choice. And the chooser chose poorly. Putting aside the fact that this book is depressing as hell (seriously, it’s all about dogs suffering and dying slow, painful, graphic deaths in forty-below temperatures in the Alaskan wilderness), there are some major problems with this choice of text. 

Remember my short list of vocabulary words from my students’ level appropriate text? Well, compare those to primitive, fang, primordial, mastership, and toil. And I just picked those out of Call of the Wild’s table of contents. Every chapter is bursting at the seams with very advanced level English vocabulary, the kind that students studying for the GRE would study. These words are way out of the league of students who are learning how to say “I used to go to summer camp by bicycle.”

Additionally, not only are many of the words used in this book very advanced, but they’re also pretty archaic. I don’t know how many times I’ve said, “Now, this word is very, very old fashioned. We don’t normally say this nowadays. Nowadays, we would say ____________ instead.” I’ve had students ask, if no one uses these words, why are we studying them? And that, my friends, is my point. This book was written in 1903, and I’m sure the language was spot-on for its time… but this isn’t practical language to be teaching ESL students in 2013.

Call of the Wild would be useful for ESL students who are at an advanced level and who are interested in studying American literature. For recent immigrants – especially those at an intermediate level of English – this book is a waste of time. And I’m stuck with it until April 18th.

ESL Monkey's Paw (Passages 2)

This is an activity I whipped up for class a few weeks ago - and which I spent this morning modifying just a tad. It's designed to accompany chapters 3 and 4 of the ESL textbook, Passages 2. The grammar points that these chapters focus on include ~ing clauses (Ex: Hoping to find proof of life on Mars, NASA launched the Curiosity probe.), active-voice reporting clauses (Ex: Scientists claim (that) they have found proof of life on Mars.), and passive-voice reporting clauses (Ex: It is believed (that) life once existed on Mars.). The main topics of Chapter 4 are superstitions, beliefs, and legends. 

I adapted the short story, The Monkey's Paw by W.W. Jacobs to contain language that my students would be able to comprehend. I also changed the sum of cash featured in the story from £200 to $20,000, to make it both American (as my students are studying here in the US) as well as modern. Lastly, I made sure to include examples of the three grammar points mentioned above, as well as to use some of the vocabulary from the chapter. If you'd like to take a look at (or use) my version of the story, you can download it from here. (I have highlighted the grammar points in hot pink, and the relevant vocabulary words in yellow. Also, dropbox seems to have done something wonky to my formatting; I promise everything was properly formatted in my original!)

After reading through the story, I also showed my students a clip from The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror II, in which the Simpson family acquires their own magical monkey's paw. Unfortunately, it's not readily available for free online, but you can download the episode from Amazon for $1.99.

This lesson works really well! The students seem to enjoy it, and they get to review the grammar and vocabulary without realizing that they're doing a grammar/vocab review. Also, a big hat tip to my friend YH who first came up with the idea of using The Simpsons' version of The Monkey's Paw as an accompaniment to Passages. 

Valentine's Themed Songs with Phrasal Verbs

Today was Valentine's Day, and my class (adults, advanced level) were still supposed to be working on phrasal verbs. I decided to spice up the lesson by using some songs with which they were all familiar, and which contained the phrasal verbs get back, come true, fog up, run out, settle down, bend over, hold back, look into, turn up, open up, and stay away. The songs I used were Someone Like You by Adele, and I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. In addition to discussions of the phrasal verbs in these songs (including whether or not they were separable or inseparable), we got to discuss words and phrases like out of the blue, time flies, the time of our lives, bittersweet, bend over backwards for someone, aim to do something, and fate.

Jason Mraz's grammar is a particularly annoying and often incorrect combination of cutsey and trashy, but my group was smart enough that we were able to go through and actually correct Mraz's grammar. And now if someone says to them something along the lines of 'I done ate that' (instead of 'I've already eaten that'), they'll know what that person is talking about. 

They also learned 'ain't' from Adele. (Only one of them had heard 'ain't' before.) While I love correct grammar and certainly don't want to be teaching my students to speak incorrectly, my goal is for them to be able to understand and communicate with the average person on the street... and with so many native English speakers using 'ain't' or other incorrect grammar forms on a regular basis, I'd like to make sure my students can understand such things when they encounter them. 

Anyway, the class really enjoyed the lesson, and they were all happily singing along with the songs, so I'd say this one was a success. Below are the lyrics to the songs with the phrasal verbs removed, if you'd like to snag 'em for your classes. (BTW, I'm Yours says 'damn' several times, and talks about nibbling on someone's ear, so definitely keep in mind the age/culture of your students!)

Someone Like You by Adele

I heard that you're __________________
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams __________________.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to __________________ or hide from the light.

I hate to __________________ out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't __________________, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to __________________ out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't __________________, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

I’m Yours by Jason Mraz

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it

I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted

I fell right through the cracks 

Now I'm trying to __________________

Before the cool done __________________

I'll be giving it my bestest

And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention

I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well __________________ your mind and see like me

__________________ your plans and damn you're free

__________________ your heart and you'll find love love love love

Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing

We’re just one big family

And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait I'm sure

There's no need to complicate 

Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours

Dooo, dooo, dooooo

Scooch on over closer dear

And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror

And __________________ backwards just to try to see it clearer

But my breath __________________ the glass

And so I drew a new face and I laughed

I guess what I'll be saying is there ain't no better reason

To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons

It's what we aim to do

Our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more 

It cannot wait I'm yours

Well __________________ your mind and see like me

__________________ your plans and damn you're free

__________________ your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours

So please don't, please don't, please don't

There's no need to complicate

Cause our time is short

This oh this oh this is our fate, I'm yours!

Fun with Friends and Phrasal Verbs

I've started teaching a new class at the school where I teach part time. It's a class of adults, all advanced level, all students who are really only "studying" to keep their student visas. Even though I've only just started working with this group, I've heard them mention several time over the past few weeks that the school is a joke, and that as soon as they get their green cards, they'll be out of there. They're definitely jaded! 

I've only taught two classes to this advanced group so far - on the rather stultifying topic of phrasal verbs, with the equally stultifying Passages 2 textbook - but I've been trying to bring as much life to the topic as possible. Today, at the end of class, my students thanked me for a great lesson and said 'we actually learned something for once.' This says a lot about my place of employment. (It's a private language school.) 

Anyway,  in case you're curious about today's lesson, I modified one that I found here. Here's my version: After some boring Passages-based phrasal verb reviews, I reviewed the phrasal verbs wear in, hang on, run into, pick up, come over, drop off, and sit down - which I admit were easy for this group - and discussed whether each verb was separable or inseparable. Then we watched an excerpt from the Friends episode The One That Could Have Been Part 1, which featured the aforementioned phrasal verbs. The students in my class are definitely advanced enough to watch Friends without any problems. Then I gave them the script to the excerpt that we watched, with the phrasal verbs deleted:

Joey: Hey man, look sorry about that Archie thing. Do uh, do you need me to give you
some money?

Chandler: Hey, I may have no money, but I still have my pride.

Joey: Really?

Chandler: Ehh.

Monica: Maybe Joey doesn’t have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?

Joey: That’s an idea! Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?

Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!

Joey: That’s great! That would be great! Let’s do that!

Chandler: I could use the money; it could give me time to write.

Joey: Oh right great! Welcome aboard!

Chandler: Okay!

Joey: All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I don’t need any assistance in there, take a break!

Chandler: All right!

Phoebe: Hey!

Monica: Hey Phoebe! Guess what?

Phoebe: What?

Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!

Phoebe: Oh that’s so sweet! Oh! _________________! _________________! Go! No! No-no! I
said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, it’s a number! It comes after 4-9! No, it’s okay. It’s okay, you’re allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.

Ross: Hey Mon!

Monica: Hey!

Ross: Mon, look who I _________________!

Monica: Oh my God! Rachel!! You look terrific!

Rachel: Oh, so do you! Did you lose weight?

Monica: You are so sweet to notice! Yes, I lost three and a half pounds!

Ross: And, and uh, you-you remember my friend Chandler.

Chandler: Hey.

Rachel: Oh yeah.

Ross: And that’s Phoebe over there!

Phoebe: Hi!

Monica: Oh my God, _________________! _________________! How long as it been since we’ve seen each other?

Ross: 1987, the day after Christmas, at Sean McMahon’s party. I played you one of my songs, y’know Interplanetary Courtship Ritual.

Rachel: Oh yeah. Right. So now, are—do you, do you still do music?

Ross: Sometimes, you should come over sometime! I’ll play you one of my other…

Rachel: Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives just walked in here!

Monica: Rach, he’s a friend of ours.

Rachel: You are friends with Dr. Drake Remoray?

Chandler: Oh, it’s kinda hard to be friends with Drake because of his busy schedule and the fact that he’s not real.

Ross: Hey, hey, or I could bring my keyboard here sometime…

Rachel: He’s _________________! He’s _________________!

Monica: Joey!

Joey: I know, here-here!!

Monica: Ohhh! No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to high school together.

Rachel: Hi!

Joey: Hi!

Rachel: Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you every day! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tried to kill you…

Joey: Well, it’s always nice to meet the fans.

Rachel: Ah!

Joey: She’s not crazy is she?

Monica: No.

Joey: So uh, how you doin’?

***                

Phoebe: _________________. _________________ . _________________ ! Go! Who is this? Oh, okay. You’re gonna like working for me. What’s your name? What kinda name is Brindy? I’m… whatever… stop talking! Alright. From – from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.

Joey: Hey, there you are.

Chandler: Uh-oh, it’s my boss.

Joey: All right, here’s a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work I’m delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine!

Chandler: _________________my dry cleaning. _________________my vitamins. Teach me how to spell vitamins. _________________my new jeans.

We watched the clip again, and the students filled in the blanks with the phrasal verbs. Then - since it's a class of six - the students took the script and acted it out. They really got into it and had a great time. Anyway, my students loved it so much that I thought I'd share this with you. The only problems with this activity are: I couldn't find this episode online for free anywhere (I actually bought it so that I could do this lesson). Also, you have to cut off the video right after Chandler says "new jeans" or else you get Monica telling him (and your students) that he is Joey's bitch. 

Anyway, if you've got an advanced class that's starting Passages 2, this makes a great supplement. Enjoy!