Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Welcome to Ukraine!

The plane touched down in Kiev, the captain came over the loudspeaker to welcome us all to Ukraine, and I promptly threw up.

Back up just a little bit. The flight from Seoul to Moscow was long, and as I was in an aisle seat, sleep wasn't an option. (I can only sleep in airplanes if I have a window to lean against.) However, as it was a Korean Air flight, I had my own personal TV with numerous movies from which to choose in order to entertain myself. Unfortunately, my third film choice (Hanna), while entertaining, was filmed in such a flashy, trippy manner that it no doubt gives epileptics fits. It gave me a headache. And of course my supply of Excedrin was in my checked bag.

My three hour layover in Moscow was in Sheremetevo airport's Terminal F - the original and un-remodeled terminal where they stick all the flights to various parts of the former Soviet Union, where there's no AC, and people are allowed to smoke wherever the hell they please. The few stores in Terminal F were closed, except for one Duty Free shop, well stocked in Dior perfume.

I was ridiculously thirsty, but I had only Korean won, dollars, and euros - and of course there wasn't a currency exchange in Terminal F. There weren't any stores, but there were, however, kiosks (yes, inside the terminal) selling drinks, snacks, and cigarettes (alas, no aspirin). I approached one, staffed by two babushki, and asked (in Russian, of course - amazing how it all comes back to me so quickly!) if I could pay in dollars. They exchanged a look and asked me what I wanted. I said a water and a Coke. They said 'How about $7?' God knows how they came up with $7, but I was so thirsty I would've paid much more. Of course, I only had a $10. They were in a panic over how to give me change. I told them it was fine, don't worry about it... but they responded "Oh, no. We agreed on $7! We must give you change." They were pretty relieved when I told them they could give me my change in rubles, though.

Sadly, water and Coke were no match for headache + smoke + perfume. I was in full migraine mode by the time I boarded my flight for Kiev. For those people debating whether or not Michelle Bachmann's migraines should have any bearing on her presidential aspirations... let's just say that I found myself hoping for a plane crash just to put an end to my torture. I have a tendency towards motion sickness in general, and in addition, migraines usually make me vomit. I lasted all the way to touchdown, and well... thank the gods of Aeroflot for barf bags.

Welcome to Ukraine!


G said...

Oh, no! I pray I never vomit on a plane. *knocks wood*

Anonymity said...

It's pretty horrible. I've been sick in airplane bathrooms before (I am *very* prone to motion sickness, after all) but this was the first time since I was 4 years old that I had to use a "barf bag" :-(